Sending December Love
Email sent 12.6.23 | 11 months 27 days
Hello friends,
In the best of days, I’ve never been accused of being an “under sharer” and some things never change. I thought our Oct email would be the last until 2024 but this journey keeps growing beyond our personal rules. I know these emails are a lot to absorb (especially during the holiday season) but somehow these updates have become woven into the fabric of grief healing and growth and are in lieu of heavy social media posts. Please do not feel obliged to read them or respond and let me know if you’d like your name removed from future emails, no offense. Worth noting that I sign these from the whole family, which is hilarious because Iz & D read them for the first time when you do, but I am writing so closely from our collective hearts. Maybe I’ll ask how they feel about that one day? ha.
This week, we’ve done it. Flew the coop, dropped in, dropped out, and hopefully remembered to pack the sunscreen. I knew the “ber” months were going to be a beast and December a fierce brew of anticipation. The Big Island Hawaii is a gobsmackingly special place for our family, so off to the waters we went. We know we will feel Miles here in ways undeniable. As Andrea so beautifully reiterated to me, since we carry him with us, Miles will see the world through our eyes now.
Last week David Izzy and I watched this Ram Dass documentary. Bella told us Miles watched it on repeat, and now I understand why. I can feel him absorbing the peace of Ram, delicate balance of life and death, the molecular beauty of nature and breathing, the advice to “make friends with change”. Looking back at our last trip and how Miles walked through the lush Hawaiian environment, sloth like with eagle eyes, deep slow breathes, quiet joy of knowing. I understand now, amongst so many other wise and spiritual outlets of his, Miles also had this documentary tucked under his belt. Don’t get me wrong, our travels were also immersed in the cacophony of vacation chaos, rum drinks, sunburns, family body surfs, sand in the crack for days. But Miles knew how to slow down and melt into his environment and we will be looking to him for guidance as we attempt to do the same. I hope the turtles seek us out as they did him, but we can only ask for so much :).
We’re traveling with Miles’ soil and this will be his third journey to the Hawaiian islands to be incorporated into the growth there. For those who would like soil, thank you for your patience with me and we will be back soon to distribute. A few months back our friends Phaedra and Marc adventured with Mile’s soil in lake Tahoe
How she managed to make such an extraordinary video is beyond me. Worth noting you are not expected to create such a video masterpiece when you grow your magic. I’m a knucklehead monkey when it comes to these things, but we’re so thankful that she shared hers. Her video is a motivational inspiration to adventure! Tahoe is a special place of memory for Miles and his dear Bella, we know he is so happy to be there. Serendipitously I recently stumbled upon this video of Miles serenading his mom and the mountains, so now he can serenade you too.
Most importantly, we want you to know, we hear it loud and clear from Miles that we need to find our path back to joy. It’s taken almost a year to truly fathom that this was a possibility. “Grief and love are forever intertwined. Grief is the terrible reminder of the depths of our love and, like love, grief is non-negotiable” ~Nick Cave. Truer words were never spoken yet Miles’ message of wise encouragement seems to appear in those darkest hours of grief. Changed as we are for now and evermore by the complex weight of our loss, yet slowly joy slithers in and sometimes takes us by quiet surprise. The sound of our own laughter guiding us to the healing place we seek so desperately. Hello you old friend with that glint in your eyes. Hello Miles.
When I see your gorgeous faces next, we will have spent a few sunsets at our favorite beach spot below. We will be lighting our candle on the anniversary of Miles’ transition with our global loved ones (https://www.compassionatefriends.org/wcl) on December 10th and we will be holding everyone of you so close to our tender hearts.
Sending so much love to all of you and your families.
With immense gratitude,
Laura, David, Izzy and Miles
